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What No-One Tells You About Having A Baby Boy

 

When I first found out during my second pregnancy that I was having a boy, I was over the moon… but terrified. Having only sisters and my first child being a daughter, I had no idea what to do with a little stick wielding, mud eating boy! Turns out it really isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong – they are little terrors, but it isn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be. That being said, there are some things about having a boy that I wish someone would have told me about…

 

1 • They get little baby erections… And not in a weird way (although it is pretty weird), it is all just blood flow and it is also an indicator that their nerve-endings are functioning properly. This may shock and horrify you, but it is normal. Oh, and little stiffies tend to happen right before he needs to pee, so if you take off his diaper and see one, you might want to cover that sucker up again real quick. Or duck.

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2 • They will wee in your face… Okay fine, everyone warned me about this one! Doesn’t make it less shocking when it actually happens!

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

3 • An afterthought to the above – those little PeePee TeePee things do not work after the first month or two, unless you care to see just how far your son’s urine can propel a tiny, soggy cone of fabric across the room. When I first found these I thought they were the most amazing invention ever, and they were so cute! (I mean, the name alone is irresistible.)

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4 • Also –  A lot of times they manage to pee right on their own faces. It is absolutely amazing… and the funniest thing you will ever witness. And no, it won’t kill them – they’ll survive.

 

5 • According to actual statistics, boys go to the E.R more often. Knox made is debut at 9-months old when he got his finger chopped off. Yes, you read that right. I aged about 20-years in one night – you can read about it here. Here’s to many more grey hairs.

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6 • Shopping for clothes SUCKS!!! I used to be a designer at Naartjie Kids a couple of years ago, and have worked for some of the major retailers in South Africa – so I think my +/- 7-years experience in the fashion industry entitles me to tell every retailer in this country that their boys clothes are horrid. Sies man! The selection is also so small compared to the girls’ clothes. The only place that I have ever found clothes for my son that a) are not only in primary colours and b) doesn’t looks like the CBeebies channel threw up on it or c) has some stupid overused catchphrase on it is Cotton On, Sticky Fudge and H&M – which is a schlep because I only shop when there is a sale going on (I’m stingy like that) and they are only in selected malls. I don’t know, maybe I am just too picky… what do you think? Where do you buy your son’s clothes?

 

7 • They play with their boy parts – a lot! Maybe it is like a cave man instinct? Boys play with their winkies practically from birth. Once he figures out it’s there, it’s overs.

 

8. Speaking of penises, no matter what they do to them, they can’t break. I’ve had to ask my husband the same question repeatedly for the past year: “Are you sure he can do that? Won’t he hurt himself??” The answer is always yes, even when they are pulling them to the point where it looks like it is going to rip off or twisting them into knots.

 

9 • When they start walking, they start climbing – and they would want to climb on EVERYTHING! Curious little creature that he is, Knox wants to explore… I am constantly finding him on the dining room table, or a makeshift tower of plastic chairs… my heart.

 

10 • They will most likely have longer eyelashes that you – and while it is super adorable, you will be jealous as hell.

 

11 • They are gross, and love doing gross things. I know this is completely stereotypical, but it is true… well in my case anyway. One of the grossest things Knox have done so far is take his nappy off, poo on the floor, play with said poo, laugh about it, come to show me his wonderful poo (I screamed). Obviously I made him drop it and got him in the bath as soon as possible to hose him down…. I went back to clean it only to find that Bam, our dog, ate it. GAG.

 

12 • They are soooo messy! Okay, I know all kids get dirty – but holy crap! Knox is a permanent mess.

 

13. There’s always finger in your eye, your ear, or up your nose and it’s not yours. Boys find these things fascinating for some reason.

 

14. Having a boy crushes your heart into a million pieces… and it is amazing! I don’t love my son more than I love my daughter, but it is a special kind of love… and boys love their moms! For all the chaos that comes with boys, you can’t help but fall in love with their sweet sides. The hugs, love and sweet words are enough to melt my heart. It is unexplainable… I’m my son’s favourite person in the world, and it means more to me than money could ever buy.

 

What do you wish you knew about having boys? Anything to add to this list?

 

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Maz Halliday

Maz is self-employed mom to two of the most gorgeous, yet tiring kids you will ever lay eyes upon. She maintains her sanity by blogging at Caffeine and Fairydust and rocking from side-to-side in her bath tub at night (with a glass of bubbly - no one ever said you can't be fabulous while having a nervous breakdown). She aims to broaden people's perspectives - and in the process will either make you laugh or p%#@ you off. Don't be shy... come say hi!

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21 COMMENTS

  • Carla VDW

    I LOVE this article! I am about to give birth to a boy and I am still having my doubts about it… I always pictured myself as a girl mum and the adjustment to the realization that that is prob never going to happen is a big one. So to hear all the positive and quirky things about boy babies is really encouraging! Your Knox and Cindy’s Knox makes me excited for what is to come 🙂

  • chastin dreyer

    3 boys and haven’t been peed on once lol, agree with the clothes boys clothes suck and are few and far between especially when you get to the section from 8-14 its like they think boys stop liking anything related to characters and only want Aztec or ugly patterned covered shirts and boring ol pants, it sucks but we found really nice character tees at pick n pay clothing, finally they do get less messy as they get older I promise =)

  • chastin dreyer

    Oh and my eldest also severed his finger he was 5 it was the most terrifying experience of my life had to have plastic surgery it was traumatizing I still have nightmares as I had to open the door with his finger still caught in it, I am not queasy but when I saw bone I flipped thankfully it severed in such a way that it just missed the bone at the tip and our plastic surgeon was absolutely amazing, loghan also climbed atop a basket and fell causing a concussion and fell at school leading to the reconstruction of his front teeth, oh and all three have bitten through their lips as toddlers learning to walk all 3 have the same scar, not for sissies having boys!

  • Michelle Stevens

    Love this post and can totally relate… No idea why this comment will only allow me to respond in cAPS?

    • Maz
      AUTHOR

      I don’t know why it does that, but the comments do not appear in caps – must be the theme I am using for my website, I’m sorry!

  • Simone C

    Boys are AWESOME 🙂 i ALSO HAD A GIRL FIRST AND FINDING OUT NUMBER 2 WAS A BOY….i WAS LIKE..huh? bUT MY SON IS ACTUALLY WAY TIDIER THAN MY DAUGHTER. sHE IS THE ONE THAT USED TO TAKE OFF POOP NAPPIES AND THROW THEM AT ME FROM HER COT. sHE IS WAY WILDER THAN HE IS.
    tHEY BOTH HAVE SERIOUS EYELASH GAME. LOL.
    i AM OBSESSED WITH MY SON, SO MUCH SO THAT WHEN i HEARD NUMBER 3 WAS ALSO A BOY i WAS HAPPY…BUT NUMBER 3 IS A DIFFERENT STORY. HE IS NOW 8M OLD AND i SWEAR HE IS GOING TO BE THAT CRAZY BOY THAT HAS ME AT CASUALTY. LOL. MY MIDDLE CHILD DUPED ME INTO THINKING ALL BOYS WERE AS PASSIVE AS HE IS.
    i NEVER EVER WOULD HAVE BOUGHT INTO A WEE PEETEE WHATEVER….LOL.

  • Simone C

    Oh my word at the finger! And yes, boys clothing shopping sucks 🙁 I love cotton on for boys and truworths on occasion, though they can be overpriced.

    • Maz
      AUTHOR

      Truworths is waaaay too expensive! Cotton On has really great sales ♥

  • Simone C

    Oh my word…went to read the post about the finger. My nerves! my daughter had her hand in the hinge (?) part of the door when a gust of wind blew it shut, with her hand in there. her hand was so swollen, but wow, i didn’t realise it could have actually been so much worse!! is his finger fine now?

  • Kim Muller

    1. The baby erections are weird, especially if you don’t know about it. But when you get used to seeing the erection when you open the nappy, you immediately know to close it again
    2. I got wee’d on a few times, almost in my mouth one time
    3. Never used on of those PeePee TeePee things
    4. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Yes!
    5. My boys are not shy of the hospital but we’ve yet to go to the ER for a broken anything
    6. Oh shopping…. We shop mostly at Woolies and I try to look for things that don’t have characters on them. Unless my 5 year old specifically asks for it
    7. Yip and it gets worse the older they get. Then you have start reminding them that it’s okay to play with it, just not in public (And not say NO! so you don’t give them a complex about it)
    8. LOL! Yes, I asked my husband the same thing
    9. And the climbing never stops
    10. I am almost always in a jealous state
    11. Hahahahaha! What is it with boys and poop. I caught mine with his own poop in hands eating it. It took me a few moments to register because I just thought it was an old biscuit he found under the couch
    12. You get used to the messiness lol
    13. Or they’re pulling your hear or climbing up you like they’re rock climbing or play fighting (which hurts like real fighting)
    14. I’ll do it all over again and again

  • Anna

    We found out we’re having a boy (our first child) recently, and it’s been a bit of an adjustment in thinking about imagining a girl for so long. You pretty much hit the nail on the head for all the things I’ve already heard boys mean (messy, energetic, pee on everything with no cute clothes). Not exactly things I would imagine most people would look forward to. 🙁

    It is sad going clothes shopping in stores when girls have so many adorable outfits yet stores can’t seem to get it together when it comes to boy clothes.

    Glad for reason 14 at least

  • Rolene

    Thank you for this post. My little boy is also climbing everywhere and exploring everything… and it doesn’t help that he and his daddy are swinging, “flying” or diving him everywhere. Everything is an adventure.

    For clothes I struggle to get something nice without Spiderman and the Avengers! I’ll even go for primary colors but no superheroes please!

    I don’t have a daughter to compare it to, but having my boy is the biggest blessing and privilege for me, even if it means having your heart broken so many times… and it really breaks often.

    I read a quote (can’t remember where) that you are not only raising your son, but someone’s future husband and father. It made me realize the responsibility of raising the little men.

    Long eyelashes… checked.
    Very messy… checked.
    Loving every moment of it… checked.

    • Maz
      AUTHOR

      It is a huge responsibility – just like raising your daughter to be independent, self sufficient and strong is a huge responsibility… this whole parenting gig is kinda a big deal,lol

  • Tara

    Ackermans for boy clothes. quality isn’t brilliant, but then Woolies quality isn’t what it used to be and 99% of it is branded to here and back. can’t afford nartjie h&m etc even on sale.

    • Maz
      AUTHOR

      Ackermans is pretty awesome, I went there yesterday and they had some pretty descent stuff. I also popped into Pep and actually found some awesome boys shoes there!

  • Rheemie g

    Good heavens maz, after reading your other blog posts, It now feels like you are the cape town version of me – I kid you not, right down to the chopping of the finger incident. I actually considered blogging but I would rather just direct everyone here to you!!! so glad I stumbled across your blog and you are actually a local chick! awesome awesome blog!!!

    • Maz
      AUTHOR

      Thank you so much ♥ ♥ Maybe you’re like my soul sister or something?! If you want to start a blog, go for it! I’ll read it 😉

  • Megan Keith

    Weve had our noah for 7 months now, and now that he is mobile and walking everywhere, i can totAlly relate to each point! One thing to add, although i Dont know if it is for every boy, or just mine, but he seems to be made of steel! No matter how hard he bangs his head or falls down, his usual response is to either laugh, or clap for himself. He seldom cries. Is this normal? As soon as he Falls, all i want to do is sweep in for cuddles and comfort, but it doesnt seem like he needs it lol!

  • Elaine

    Thank you so much for this- my boy is due in April and you have managed to put my dread about boys into persepctive. Loved reading this. Ps spree also has some nice clothing options

  • Shaaista Mahomed

    I feel the same way, we were always girls and I also had a girl first so when i had my boy, it was all different but there is a special kind of love with them

  • Melissa Javan

    Hectic and here I always wanted a boy. We have a girl now.

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