So my birthday month has come to an end… and what a crazy month it has been. A month of happiness, heartache, trying to heal, crazy work schedules, new parenting struggles and all around insanity. But we are still here, we carry on and persevere – that’s what parents do.
I have not been writing much, because there is honestly not enough time in the day and I do not believe in “forcing it”. The last time I forced myself to blog beyond my capacity I completely burnt out and I am not going down that road again. We have had a rough time in our household, and my family needs me – I have been juggling so hard my head is spinning. We are moving through the stages of grief and my entire perspective on life has changed. My daughter has taken the loss of her grandmother extremely hard and we have made the decision to take her to play therapy… my heart breaks for her and it is beyond my ability now to help her heal. Besides just being emotional, she is showing signs of anxiety and as someone who has suffered from anxiety and depression my entire life – it truly scares the crap out of me. I feel like an awful mom, I thought I was helping her deal with this in the best way I could and it is not enough. She will be fine, she is a strong girl… we just need a bit of extra help.
Cole went to the U.K to be with his dad for two weeks, and I learned so much about myself while he was gone. It was crazy looking after the two kids on my own – I just do not know how single moms do it, massive respect to you guys! Between getting them ready in the morning, packing their school bags, doing the school run, trying to get to work on time, crazy work schedule, trying to leave work in time in order to fetch them, cooking dinner, bathing them, spending quality time with them, getting them in bed at a decent hour and trying to still work on the blog… not enough hours in the day is an understatement. I made it through, and I actually managed better than I thought I would. Most of all, the kids and I bonded so much and in a way it was quite special having them all to myself. It threw our routine completely out the window, and they ate pizza for dinner more than I care to admit – but hey… we are still here. Cole arrived back on the day of my birthday, and completely surprised me with the most thoughtful gifts. My incredibly unromantic husband brought me a Harry Potter travel mug (he hates Harry Potter and I am OBSESSED), the most beautiful roses, my favorite chocolates and my favorite wine – you have to know him to know how incredibly special this is. He is not the best gift giver in the world (sorry my love), but the effort was evident and all of this while he is busy facing one of the toughest challenges of his life. Damn, I love this man… I would go to then ends of the earth for him.
While we were dealing with the loss of his incredible mother, we were also given the news that one of our closest friends have aggressive stage 4 brain cancer. It is as bad as it sounds, but I refuse to be negative about it. I have to hope that he is going to pull through. If you have not seen it on my social media channels yet, Scott was diagnosed a few weeks after getting engaged to his lovely girlfriend and we are all rallying up to raise funds for his treatments because medical aid
can suck my balls is just terrible. He is using a relatively new treatment from Germany which is not covered by medical aid and the results so far have been so positive – so if you want to help contribute towards his treatment costs, you can buy a raffle ticket from me at only R20 and the prizes are amazing! You can buy tickets up until 4 September and winners will be announced on the 6th of September (click here for more details on prizes etc) . He is such a special person to us, and I cannot wait to see him get married this weekend! Even if you cannot buy a raffle, please just keep him in your thoughts and send some healing vibes his way!
Excited About: Scott’s wedding this weekend! I cannot wait to spend time with our friends and I just love weddings. I am also super excited about a very small step I took towards something big. I have started a coffee mug range (I told you it was a very small step) and I just adore them. I will be adding more to the range later on, but for now I am just feeling things out. We have so much more in the pipeline… there are big things to come, but it will take a little time. If you want to buy a mug, they sell for R150 each which includes the postage fee – but because it is almost Spring, and because I am in a giving mood, I am offering everyone a R30 discount! Just use the coupon ENJOYSPRING when checking out. I would love any feedback here, as it will also help me grow! Click here to shop the range
I have also decided to book a little getaway for Cole and myself to celebrate our anniversary coming up on the 1st of October. I really think we need some time alone in a peaceful environment – we have not spent a weekend alone together since my birthday last year! I can’t wait!! Budget is tight, but you’d be surprised at the number of amazing and affordable getaway deals out there. I used AfriStay to book our accommodation and was completely spoiled for choice. I will write about that another time though, but because I feel like you probably need a holiday as well – you should check in on Monday because I will be giving away a R1500 travel voucher!
Accepting: Life is so incredibly short. I am accepting the fact that we are all mortal, and we need to give each and every day our all. In the end, my family is what is most important to me and I need to spend more quality time with them. Life is just so precious.. nothing else matters.
Reading: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn – what a mind twister!!! I am loving it… just as it gets a bit stale, the writer pulls the carpet from right under you and you can’t wait to turn the page to find out what happens next. I didn’t even know there was a movie – I need to watch it after I finish the book!
Watching: I just finished all of the House Of Cards on Netflix and I am so bummed! I am obsessed with the show and I really need more. I haven’t been able to find another series that grips me in the same way, so suggestions are welcome. And no, I have not started watching the new Game Of Thrones yet. I wait for them all to come out and then I binge watch like a mofo.
Listening to: Not much, I am still trying to wrap my head around Whackhead Simpson’s nasal voice assaulting my ears in the morning for the Kfm breakfast show. I am trying to enjoy it, it is just not the same. I will need to find new music to listen to soon. The new Billy Talent is excellent though – then again, everything of theirs is excellent.
Feeling: Too much.
Loving: Living out on the farm. It really is so special, and it helps a lot with everything. The open space and the view… it is a sanity saver. I am also really throwing myself into trying to empower women. I teamed up with 1st For Women on a campaign focusing on safety and always being prepared, and that kickstarted a campaign I am heading at work to bring self-defense workshops to the office and teach women how to defend themselves and escape tough situations – also how to try avoid them entirely. I feel so strongly about this.
Questioning: Life, mortality, religion, our school system, this country, Peppa Pig’s roof leaking on the 1st floor of a second story building when it rains.
Parenting win: I had to think long and hard about this one… obviously surviving two weeks solo with the two terrors were an absolute win, but listening to Mikayla’s wisdom and take on the world reassure me that we really are raising her right!
Parenting fail: For a while things went really well with Knox’s potty training, but it has regressed and I am not sure why. Maybe I am not paying enough attention, or putting enough effort in – but his new school requires him to be fully potty trained by the end of the year and the pressure is on!
Wrap-up: In-case you missed it – here are some of my recent most popular posts :
So, how about you? What are you up to today? I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts?! That sounded better in my head. What are you having a tough time with and how are you planning on overcoming it?