I think my UIF documents went to the wrong department and somehow ended up with the Gods, who decided that 35 weeks is enough time and Knox could come out now. The day after I filed all those tedious documents, and after an absolutely wonderful lunch date with my daughter… thinks started feeling strange.
On 4 December 2015 at 7:30pm my contractions started and I went into labour… It started out feeling like Braxton Hicks and I shrugged it off – it was too early. I have also never been in labour before so I was not quite sure how it was supposed to feel. After my recent hospital visits I did not want to be that woman who runs to the ER with every hickup… so I left it.
Until it got worse.
These were not Braxton Hicks… the contraction would start in my lower back and pull its way around my tummy like a belt – but it was not exactly painful. They became more and more frequent, and they didn’t go away… I counted eight contractions in 40 minutes spaced roughly 3 minutes apart and lasting for about a minute each. These were too consistent so I phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.
The sister on call advised me that it was a little strange that they weren’t very painful, and to take a shower, drink loads of water and lie on my side for about an hour – if they didn’t stop in that time I had to come in for a check-up. I did as I was told, but waited an extra hour – I felt so embarrassed – I didn’t want to go in and then it was nothing! (I’ve already been to the Maternity Ward twice before – false alarms).
At 10:00pm the contractions where about 1:30 minutes apart lasting 40 seconds each and they were getting painful, very, very painful…. There was no denying it – it was time! We dropped Mikayla off at my in-laws and made our way through to the hospital where I was placed on a fetal heartbeat and contraction monitor.
The nurse confirmed that I was indeed in labour, I was admitted for the night and my rockstar gynea was notified. She was concerned about delivering the baby at only 35 weeks – chances were high that his lungs would not be fully mature enough.
She had the sister give me a Morphine injection in a bid to try stop the labour – it didn’t work. At the same time I was given a steroid injection to help mature his lungs just in case. The contractions remained frequent and intense. I was about 1cm dilated and my cervix was paper thin. By 8:00am the next morning my gynea came around and had me placed on a drip as a second attempt to stop labour – once again it did not work and after about 15 hours of labour in total, I was taken into theatre and they performed an emergency c-section.
I have never been so scared in my entire life.
Cole was absolutely amazing through all of this… He held my hand, kissed me, distracted me through every injection (I have a huge fear of needles). I did not know what to expect, it was too early… but just as I started panicking one of our dear friends showed up. She was doing her residency at the hospital and was on call to assist my gynea in the theatre.
It was so great having her there, she really made me feel relaxed and put my mind at ease. It was very special. Knox was born at 10:30am on 5 December 2014 and when he gave his first cry… It was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life. He weighed 2.97kg and is 50cm tall – not bad for being five weeks early. I got to hold him for less than a minute as he was having trouble breathing… at this time the atmosphere in the room changed. There was a sense of urgency and worry as he was taken from me and rushed to be put on a ventilator.
He was placed in the NICU unit – Cole went with and followed him the entire day to put my mind at ease. It was so hard to not be near him, to not put him on my chest or see him properly.
I have been in bed all day recovering from the c-section and getting feeling back in to my legs after the epidural, I will only be able to see my little boy again tomorrow after all my tubes, drips, etc. have been removed and I’m allowed to walk around.
I cannot describe how heartbreaking it is not to be able to hold him.. Not to be able to see him is just… I don’t know, it is killing me. Cole kept bringing me photos and videos of him so that helped a little bit.
So, while I lie here and try take my mind off my baby boy down the hall… let’s do an update for old times’ sake.
How far along? 35 weeks 0 days
Total weight gain: 18kg’s, but I look massive as I am really struggling with water retention.
Maternity clothes: as Murphy’s law would have it, I just bought the raddest pair of maternity jeans and the nicest grey wrap maternity top! At least I got to wear it once.
Stretch marks: Those three extras mentioned before turned into four. – little darker in colour and a little longer in length, honostly I was expecting a lot worse. I really love the Oh So Heavenly Supertight Stretchmark Creme for Mum, I really believe it saved me. Sleep: the past week I have actually gotten a good amount of sleep, however I just did not feel well rested. Of course I spent the whole of last night awake from the contractions. I slept on and off today… Gorgeous, Morphine filled dozy, dreamy naps… Absolutely amazing. I am writing this at 2am because I am too excited to see Knox a little later so I need to distract myself!
Best moment this week: Realizing that I was finally going to meet my little boy!
Miss anything? I miss my mom… So so so much. I wish I could teleport her here!
Movement: he moved so much throughout the contractions. My tummy made the oddest shapes!
Food cravings: fruity ice lollies, Oros with ice, iced water, chocolate, mangoes, nectarines and cherries!
Anything making you queasy or sick? My tummy has been super sensitive – everything seems to irritate it.
Gender: A gorgeous, perfect, strong, beautiful boy. Labour signs: Actual labour.
Symptoms: Acid reflux, heartburn, swollen hands and feet (not too bad). Labour.
Belly button in or out? Still in! Yay!
Wedding rings on or off? Off. I cannot wait to put it back on.
Happy or moody most of the time: very happy!
Looking forward to: holding my little prince in my arms, and having Mikayla be able to meet him! How I am feeling now – I’m a little worried about my baba, but at the same time I am at ease as I know he is in great hands. I feel excited to see him! I am a bit worried about him bonding with me as I haven’t been able to hold him, and won’t be able to do so until he comes off oxygen.
I am a tad worried about my milk supply/stimulation as today we hand expressed to feed him and tomorrow I need to use the pump. I feel strangely empty… I miss my baby bump. I feel unbelievably greatful – I have the most amazing team of doctors, most amazing parents and in-laws, most amazing sisters and the most amazing husband anyone could ever ask for.